When I was a child I remember our home teachers coming over and talking to us about "warm fuzzies" and "cold pricklies". The warm fuzzies were pom poms about the size of a ping pong ball that had googly eyes and big feet. They were the funnest things with their big feet and the softness of the pom pom. The cold pricklies were warm fuzzies that they had gotten wet and frozen. They had spikes of fuzz sticking off of them and they were cold to hold.
The lesson was about how we should give others warm fuzzies and not cold pricklies.
I still remember those warm fuzzies more then 20 years later.
A few months back we tried to earn warm fuzzies as a family to earn a trip to the water park. I bought the shiniest, brightest pom poms I could get my hands on! We'd stick a warm fuzzie in this big jar when we did something nice for another. Well the jar was too big and we lost motivation for it after a few weeks. The good behavior continued and the trip was still earned, but the warm fuzzy idea went on the shelf.
Recently we've had some undesirable behavior from one particular child that needed to change. We instantly thought about the warm fuzzies. Warm fuzzies bring thoughts of happiness, cuddles and positive things. Warm fuzzies could be the reward for changing the undesirable behavior to desirable behavior.
And it worked! Everytime this particular child did a positive thing, did their chores the 1st time, stayed calm when upset, used kind words and was nice to others they earned a warm fuzzie. The jar (which was smaller this time) was filling up fast and the undesirable behaviors were fading.
Then all the kids wanted to earn them because they were fun and exciting. So now all 3 big kids have their own jars to collect warm fuzzies in. Not only are they fun to earn, but the are so pretty to look at in their jars. It's like a rainbow of smiles in a jar!
Rebecca loves them too and if she sees someone earn one, she needs some too. She always needs at least 2 warm fuzzies-one for each hand. She will walk around with them in her hands for a long time. She smells them, plays with them, and exchanges them between her hands. If we need to change her clothes or diaper she has to hold them the entire time, switching hands as needed. If she has them at bath time they have to sit on the toilet seat where she can see them, and as soon as she gets out of the bath, she needs them back. She has even tried to take them into her crib with her.
The big kids get to trade their warm fuzzies in for prizes. Some of the prizes include notebooks, little toys, a package of sours, extra Wii time, playing a game with just a parents, or an extra book before bed. We've had to experiment with the exchanging of warm fuzzies. Some kids were good at saving them up for bigger items, while others wanted to spend them as soon as they could. We have a "store" that is now open Friday afternoon after they have gotten their weekend chores done.
Also this week we have started collecting the shoes, toys and other things that they leave laying around and they have to buy those back from us. Shoes can be bought back any day, not just on Friday.
Each child has different ways they can earn them, and then there are ways they all can. A few of the ways they can earn them are: I do 'surprise' checks on bedroom floors, backpacks, and toothbrushes in the bathroom.
Corrine can earn them by keeping her thumb out of her mouth, and by beating the clock when she does the dishwasher. Simeon can earn them for remembering to take a step back from Rebecca and for being positive, and Ammon can earn them for listening the 1st time and doing things quicker. Some of the things they all earn for are: pushing their chairs in at the table, and clearing their dishes without reminders, listening quietly during scripture study, and keeping their weekly rooms clean.
It's fun to see the joy on their faces as their jars fill higher with bright shiny warm fuzzies, and when they exchange them for their prize. The best part though it that the harmony and peace in our house has increased. We have to give less reminders, they will sometimes do things before we even ask, and they look for ways to do extra things to earn more warm fuzzies.
I'm so grateful for the lesson about warm fuzzies I learned when I was my kids age, and how that lesson is helping our family today.
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1 comment:
Thank you Kari!!! We've been struggling with similar issues at our house and I've been trying to come up with a simple, low maintance system to help work out some kinks. This sounds like the perfect solution. Where did you get those cute colorful "warm fuzzies"? How cute that Rebecca even loves them! Thanks again for passing along your motherly wisdom!!!
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